My Mother and I were asked to be photographed for Detroit's Hour Magazine's Mother's Day Issue 2018. Contrary to both of our careers, she a figure skater and I a host + personality, we both lack tremendous self-esteem.
Many of our thought and behavioral patterns begin from an early age. As children we mimic what we hear and see from our parents. My Mother, as beautiful as she is, has never seen herself this way. In the same way she described herself in this video, I have never heard her describe herself in any other way. Although I am not a person who strives for vanity, it is important to note that self-esteem is manifested in a myriad of ways, one of which is feeling good about the way one looks. This is just one part of the general landscape of confidence.
When we feed each part of the general landscape of confidence, one good feeling adds to the other, and over time we build up our self-esteem. There is of course the chance that one can cross the line with this process but the for the purpose of this video I do believe it's important to highlight the importance in confidence in looks, particularly as it pertains to family dynamics.
As women we're often told how to look, act and feel. Beauty is a billion dollar industry. Needless to say, we're constantly being marketed tools and tricks and lotions and needles and everything else under the sun to (finally) feel beautiful. The problem is that very few of us actually do. I believe that it's not so much in the products we use and our skincare routines (although this helps too), it's in the way that we speak about ourselves and one another. Women are far more likely to trash another woman's looks than a man is. We are quick to judge someone. Quick to put another down. If we're not piercing this negativity onto others, we are certainly piercing it upon ourselves.
I know through my Mother's personal narrative she's never been taught or guided to see herself in the way that I see her and many others do but I don't believe that that has to be her story (or mine) forever. We have the power to change our ways of thinking, releasing old negative patterns and belief systems. If we can't start with ourselves, start with another.
Go ahead - give another a compliment. Watch them deflect. Don't judge. You do the same. Now keep giving. And then start receiving. And then give to yourself and receive. And watch how the room changes. It starts with one. Then go ahead and put on that face mask.
p.s. and yes my mom builds houses and her nickname is Bob.